Top 10 Growing up humor With Example

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Below is information and knowledge on the topic growing up humor gather and compiled by the itt.tocdepvn.com team. Along with other related topics like: Growing up humor quotes, Dad jokes about growing, Son jokes one-liners, Jokes about new parents, Jokes about your son, Jokes that make parents laugh.


est Grow Up Jokes – ↑UPJOKE↑

The 69+ Best Grow Up Jokes

Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doctor: Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease.

I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!

Most of them only have 4 though

My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.

Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks her class “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.

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Kid says to mom “when I grow up I wanna be a drummer!”

Mom says “you can’t do both!”

Most people want to be bankers when they grow up

But at this rate they are gonna lose interest

Miss Spencer asked her class what they want to be when they grow up

And little Tommy enthusiastically responded: “I want to be a jackass!”

In shock Miss Spencer asked: “Dear heavens, why would you want to be that?”

“Well,” responded Tommy “Whenever I’m walking in the city with my dad he always says ‘Look at that jackass driving his Porsche’, ‘Look at t

Apparently, astronauts grow up to two inches in space.

I never knew they were so minute.

I only learned recently that children are born with four kidneys, and later on when they grow up..

..two of them turn into adult knees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why Hooters?”
“They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the
gorgeous legs.”
“You’re on.”
At age 42, they meet and play golf again “W

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.

When it came to Johnny he said, “I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I’ll get me a bitch, and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have sex with her 3 times a day.”

The teacher was lost for

Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up

Mum: why’s that?

Me: It’s something I can see myself doing

Mum: …

Two trees, a birch tree and a beech tree, grow up right next to each other…

One day a sapling starts growing in between them. They start arguing about what type of tree it is.

“It’s a son of a birch tree!”

“No! It’s a son of a beech tree!”

It goes on for a few years, and then one day a woodpecker lands lands on the beech tree.

“Hey Woodpecker! Yo

What should you name your kid if you want them to be a good news reporter when they grow up?

Justin

My wife says I act really immature and need to grow up

I told her to get the hell out of my pillow fort with that negative attitude

I take my kids to Church every Sunday so they can grow up to be…

Atheists

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” The third one says, “I wanna be a boxer.” The others look con

Little Boy: Daddy I want to be like president Trump when i grow up!

Dad: “Well pick one son, you can’t do both”

I told my mom that when I grow up, I want to be a musician.

She said “don’t be silly, you know you can’t do both!”

As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law.

While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“That’s easy, I want to be an asshole!” yells Little Johnny.

The Teacher is shocked with Little Johnny’s response and wants to send him to detention, but out of curiosity she let’s him continue hoping for an explanation.

Little Johnny continues: -Well, when I’m out on the street with

I’m 66 years old, and I’m just beginning to understand what I want to be when I grow up.

So, I guess that makes me a late boomer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks his mom, “When I grow up will I have two penises like daddy?”

Mom: Daddy doesn’t have two penises son

Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter’s teeth!

A teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up.

Richard: I want to be a doctor!
Tommy: I want to be a firefighter!
Elizabeth: I want to be a mother!

The teacher then asks Jamal what he wants to do later.

Jamal: Help people.

Teacher: What kind of help?

Jamal: I want to help Elizabeth become a mother.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A set of identical boy triplets grow up doing everything together.

Naturally being brothers, they are very competitive and strive to outdo each other in everything they do. School, sports, work and most especially girls.

They get older, meet girls and all decide to settle down. Competitive streak aside, they are also extremely close and decide they will ge

Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up

Dad: That’s a very low goal. Have some ambition

Child: How about being a doctor?

Dad: That’s right!

Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer….

Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?

When I grow up and have kids in a couple of decades. I won’t be worried when the day comes they ask for for the newest released M rated game. I’m confident I won’t even need to play its unsuitable.

I mean I’ve played GTA 5 before.

When I was young, I wanted to grow up to have no money issues

Now that I’m an adult, I have no money *and* issues.

Mrs. Patel was reading little Rajinder a bedtime story. He asked, “what will I be when I grow up?” She replied, “you can be anything you want to be.”

“Anything?” he asked.

“Yes, you can be anything you want to be. You can be a cardiologist, radiologist, anesthesiologist, neurologist….”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.

Little Sheila says:
“When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!” Sister Catherine’s eyes grow wide and she barks: “What the **** did you say?”
“A prostitute!” Sheila repeats. Sister Catherine breathes a sight of relief and says: “Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As you grow up, your top proud moment in life is when you can ride your bike without holding onto any handlebars. Your next proudest moment is when…

you can stick your dick in without using any hands. It gets second place because you can’t shout out, “Look ma, no hands!”

Read More:   Top 10 bad attitude quotes With Example

Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet

But most of them only have 4!

How can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them sees you later, the other sees you after a while!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros

When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this…

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side!

Alligators can grow up to 15 metres…

The joke doesn’t work with the metric system…

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

Where’s the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment.

Sorry I’m high and it just came to me.

My wife told me to grow up and stop believing everything I see on the internet

But I don’t need this. There are local singles in my area literally dying to meet me.

Globally, the lack of awareness for women’s reproductive health is a major problem. We need to grow up and understand that menstruation is not a joke.

Period.

HER: kids grow up so fast these days

**ME:** I know, it was scary when I asked my daughter how old she was and she held up three fingers.

**HER:** exactly!

**ME:** she wouldn’t tell me where she found them

A Jewish and an Italian boy were growing up on the same street in the Bronx and became fast friends. Mainly because they shared the same birthday.

On their 12th birthdays, the Jewish boy receives a Rolex watch. The Italian boy receives a chrome 45 cal pistol.

Comparing what each got for their birthdays, they decide to trade. The Italian boy comes home to show his father what a good trade he’s made. The Italian father slaps the boy upsid

When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday…

I’m starting to believe him.

Mommy mommy I wanna grow up to be a conspiracy theorist!

Prove it

Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, ‘Dad, when I grow up, I’m gonna marry you.’

We laughed about it. Then my wife said, ‘Don’t make the same mistake I did.’

When I was a kid I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a drummer

And she said “Well honey, you can’t do both”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anyone can grow up to become President

I used to think this was just some bullshit my father told me for inspiration. Now I realize it was more of a warning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mom, I want to be a prostitute when I grow up.

“Mom, I want to be a prostitute when I grow up.” Said the Irish girl.

“A what?” Replied the mother with a startled expression on her face.

“A prostitute.”

“Oh, a prostitute. Thank god, I thought you said a Protestant.”

I don’t wanna grow up, I wanna be a Toys ‘R’ Us kid…

Bankrupt and empty inside.

My dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up

I said ” I want to be an astronaut like the great Neil Armstrong, but instead of going to the moon I’m going to the sun!”

My father called me a dumbass, he told me the sun was too hot and nobody can go to the sun because they will die.

I told him ” You’re the dumbass pops! I’m going

Why did Peter Pan never grow up?

Because how can you grow a Pixar film?

Teacher ask her pupils what they want to be when they grow up

Children give usual answers: Bill wants to be a pilot, Sue wants to be an actress. But when it comes to little Dave, his answer is a shock to everyone. Dave wants to be a homeless alcoholic with no penny in his pocket.

20 years go by and Dave is now rich, Really Rich.

He stands

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Timmy is sitting in class one day when the teacher asks

Teacher – Timmy what do you want to be when you grow up?

Timmy – Either a train driver or a gynocologist.

Teacher – Thats two very different types of job why have you chosen them?

Timmy – I don’t know miss, I guess I

Oh Bobby..what did you grow up to be!?

Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with “I”
Bobby: I is…
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say “I am”, never “I is”.
Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.

The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up.

For instance, i’ve lived through more ‘Spiderman’ re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.

Things really change when you grow up

For instance, nobody tells me I did a good job when I finish all my food!

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Sculpter, artist or window cleaner”

“But which of the three do you want to be the most?”

“I don’t care as long as i get to see naked women”

A healthy human can grow up to eight feet

But most only have two.

When Kathy Griffin was 10 years old, she stood up at the dinner table and announced to her family that she was going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian. They all laughed in her face.

No one is laughing now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was a mother of three boys, who wanted to grow up to be pimps……..

NSFW.

…..They were always getting into trouble at school, cursing and swearing, and generally terrible boys. So the mother decided to spend some quality time with them one morning, by making them breakfast.

She calls the boys downstairs for breakfast and they sit at the table. Moth

What do you want to be when you grow up…

A teacher in front of her three students asks them about what they want to be once they grow up. She walks up to the first boy.

Teacher: so, John what do you want to be when you grow up?
John: A firefighter.
Teacher: you will grow up to be a strong brave man .

Teacher: and you Ma

My friends told me that kids always grow up someday

So I decided to prove them wrong by not vaccinating them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you grow up on a chicken farm?

Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…

A Vet Vet

Apparently sharks can grow up to 30 feet.

I thought they were called fins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife told me that I should stop turning everything into sexual innuendos and grow up…

I told her that’s actually something I can get behind

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I want to be just like my father when I grow up

Dead.

When you grow up poor like I did, it’s not unusual to be in your twenties without a vehicle or licence…

You just sort of learn to run with it.

When I grow up I want to be a hitman

I hear they make a killing

Attention everyone, you must now grow up.

No one can be a Toys R’ Us kid anymore.

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Extra Information About growing up humor That You May Find Interested

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The 69+ Best Grow Up Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑

The 69+ Best Grow Up Jokes – ↑UPJOKE↑

  • Author: upjoke.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

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  • Sumary: A big list of grow up jokes! 69 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!

  • Matching Result: A big list of grow up jokes! 69 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!

  • Intro: The 69+ Best Grow Up Jokes Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease. I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet! Most of them only have 4 though My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔 A teacher asks her class “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I…
  • Source: https://upjoke.com/grow-up-jokes

The 97+ Best Growing Up Jokes

The 97+ Best Growing Up Jokes

  • Author: upjoke.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

  • Highest Rate: 5⭐

  • Lowest Rate: 2⭐

  • Sumary: A big list of growing up jokes! 97 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!

  • Matching Result: A big list of growing up jokes! 97 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!

  • Intro: The 97+ Best Growing Up Jokes My dads best piece of advice growing up was “you only get one chance to make a good first impression” I’ve always gone with Schwarzenegger, it’s recognisable and its always a crowd pleaser awkward situation growing up when he was 15 years old, his friend gave him condoms, just as a prank but he put the condoms aside, because he was only 15. him and his friends were learning karate from a friend Mike, Mike was a black belt in Karate the rest of them learning from him were beginner yellow belts.his … This…
  • Source: https://upjoke.com/growing-up-jokes

Growing Up Quotes Jokes - QuotesGram

Growing Up Quotes Jokes – QuotesGram

  • Author: quotesgram.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

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  • Sumary: Discover and share Growing Up Quotes Jokes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

  • Matching Result: Discover and share Growing Up Quotes Jokes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

  • Intro: Growing Up Quotes Jokes. QuotesGram Free Daily Quotes Jokes Quotes Growing Quotes
  • Source: https://quotesgram.com/growing-up-quotes-jokes/

These 55 Quotes About Growing Up Are Totally Sweet (And ...

These 55 Quotes About Growing Up Are Totally Sweet (And …

  • Author: scarymommy.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

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  • Sumary: Grab the tissues! These growing up quotes are super relatable. You’ll laugh and cry your way through the whole collection of life wisdom.

  • Matching Result: Growing up is hard. No one can deny that. There’s not a single rite of passage that doesn’t induce at least a little anxiety.

  • Intro: These 55 Quotes About Growing Up Are Totally Sweet (And 100% Relatable)Updated: Sep. 23, 2021Originally Published: Dec. 14, 2020Kyle Nieber/UnsplashGrowing up is hard. No one can deny that. There’s not a single rite of passage that doesn’t induce at least a little anxiety. First solo bike rides end in bruises and scrapes. First periods end in stains. First driving tests sometimes end in tears. First loves, well, we all know they can end in broken hearts. And just because these milestones are “learning experiences” doesn’t mean they suck any less when you’re going through them. You know what can help, though? Growing…
  • Source: https://www.scarymommy.com/growing-up-quotes

Why Sad Kids Grow Up To Be Funny Adults - Fatherly

Why Sad Kids Grow Up To Be Funny Adults – Fatherly

  • Author: fatherly.com

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  • Sumary: The psychology of a funny person shows that humor is often rooted in an adverse childhood, and many people use humor to deflect trauma.

  • Matching Result: The psychology of a funny person shows that humor is often rooted in an adverse childhood, and many people use humor to deflect trauma.

  • Intro: Do Sad Kids Really Grow Up to Be Funny Adults?The sad clown is a well-established cultural trope, but it’s also a psychologically verified part of the human condition. What’s more, it seems sad clowns grow from sad kids. Of course, not all sad kids grow into funny adults, but this pattern appears ubiquitous for a number of legitimate reasons. Humor is a coping skill rooted in resilience, and using humor to deflect trauma is not uncommon. When people have something to overcome, it makes sense that they might become more adept at laughing through the pain. So it’s no surprise…
  • Source: https://www.fatherly.com/health/why-sad-kids-make-funny-adults

Humor As a Key to Child Development - Psych Central

Humor As a Key to Child Development – Psych Central

  • Author: psychcentral.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

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  • Sumary: The things that children find funny tell us a great deal about their level of development and what is on their

  • Matching Result: The things that children find funny tell us a great deal about their level of … That is a pattern that runs throughout childhood.

  • Intro: Humor As a Key to Child DevelopmentThe things that children find funny tell us a great deal about their level of development and what is on their minds. There is a connection between the 2-year-old who bursts into a fit of giggles upon hearing the nonsense phrase “bottle, battle, bittle” and the young adolescent who laughs at the bawdiness of an off-color joke.The specific things children laugh at tell us which developmental tasks they are struggling with. That is a pattern that runs throughout childhood. It explains why 3-year-olds, who are often still mastering toilet training, are enthralled by “bathroom”…
  • Source: https://psychcentral.com/lib/humor-as-a-key-to-child-development

39 Funny Parenting Jokes and Quotes That'll Make You LOL

39 Funny Parenting Jokes and Quotes That'll Make You LOL

  • Author: chatbooks.com

  • Rating: 5⭐ (222128 rating)

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  • Sumary:

  • Matching Result: “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” —Phyllis Diller.

  • Intro: 39 Funny Parenting Jokes and Quotes That’ll Make You LOLParenting can be hard. Why not laugh as you go with these hilarious one liners!on August 07, 2020Parenting can sometimes be described as treading water and then being handed some cats. And no amount of book-reading or class-taking can prepare you for your first diaper blow-out or broken preteen heart. Being able to find the humor in the chaos can go a long way in keeping your sanity. After all, laughter is the best medicine, right? Check out this list of some of our favorite parenting one liners that hilariously (and…
  • Source: https://chatbooks.com/blog/funny-parenting-quotes

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